Friday, 6 September 2013
HOW TO BECOME AN OVERNIGHT BILLIONAIRE IN NIGERIA - FEMI ARIBISALA
Mr Aribisala is at his sarcastic best again! This had me in stitches. He lists several ways to get rich quick in Nigeria, but for his third recommendation really did it for me. A sad indictment of the prevalent brand of Christianity in our dear country! See what he says below:
3. Start a mega-church
"This one is pure genius. Peradventure you lose your job or fall on hard times. Don’t go into depression. Just start a church. Make it a purpose-built church. Think of something that men need. Tell them you have the anointing to provide it. Tell them whoever wants to be a billionaire should come to your church. Start a few of your messages with “Thus says the Lord.” Then teach your congregation the everlasting principles of sowing and reaping.
Make sure they understand that if they really want God to bless them financially, they first have to give you as much money as possible. Create a special prayer group for millionaires and billionaires. That way, if they get any new government contract they will attribute it to the efficacy of your prayers and credit something big into your bank account. Tell everybody to give you their “first-fruits.” That is a code word for their entire January salaries. Then come up with imaginative offerings to collect, such as “prophet’s offering,” (you, of course, being the prophet); “Father, Son and Holy Ghost offerings;” “Jesus will do it offering.”
Very soon, you will be flying your own private jet to preach your gospel in Ilesha; you will be wearing white Armani suits and jerry-curling your hair; you will be collecting gate-fees for new years’ eve services; billionaire thieves and robbers will be queuing up to see your private-secretary on the Lagos-Ibadan expressway; and you will be inviting Bill Clinton to open your multi-billion naira Tower of Babylon in Osapa-London. In short, you will be living large. For good measure, you will also be slapping demons out of poor bewitched damsels with impunity."
Source: 24/7 Nigeria News Update.